Not all forms of compassion are the same.

Here, learn what separates idiot compassion vs wise compassion and how to prioritize the latter.

For example, consider the difference between idiot compassion and wise compassion.

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Unsurprisingly, one is more preferable to call upon than the other with regard to our relationships.

3 common signs of idiot compassionand how to adopt wise compassion instead

1.

Not having the hard conversations

Have you ever been worried about a friends well being?

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

licensed marriage and family therapist with LifeStance Health

While all of this is understandable, though, staying quiet is nonetheless not helpful.

The wiser solution: Share your concerns, coming from a place of compassion.

How can I help?

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

After all, theyre your friend, so they surely dont mean to hurt you.

The wiser solution: Address the concern appropriately.

This might look like appreciating the persons good intentions, mentioning the concern, then keeping the conversation moving.

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We love our friends, and want to be there for them, Stockard says.

The wiser solution: Be upfront with your friend.

Tell them you dont agree, and explain how it could hurt them and other people, Stockard says.

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

licensed marriage and family therapist with LifeStance Health

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Courtesy Berkley Publishing