Obsessed with someone who won’t give you the time of day?

Here’s why it might be limerence vs love, and why that matters.

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What is limerence?

She detailed her findings in a book titledLove and Limerence, published in 1979.

Limerence is almost a heightened crush, like a crush on steroids.

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clinical social worker and psychotherapist

Limerence often leads to obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that interfere with your functioning, says Wyant.

What are the signs of limerence?

Whats the difference between limerence vs. love?

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Limerence has similarities with love or infatuation, which can make things confusing.

An important differentiation between the two is uncertainty.

Limerence arises specifically when you dont have reassurance that the LO reciprocates your desire.

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How common is limerence?

We dont really have a clear answer to how common it is to experience limerence.

This is an area where we really need research, says Wyant.

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clinical social worker and psychotherapist

There arent estimates as to how common limerence is that I know of, agrees Lorenz.

limerent phase, but once it gets real, they feel uncomfortable and they run away.

Its when its kind of hot and cold that its harder, she says.

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However, sometimes limerence can become so intense that DIY solutions dont, well, cut it.

A lot of people fight back and dont really want to let it go completely.

It is a dopamine rush that can get almost addictive, says Lorenz.

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While having a crush can feel exciting, desire can veer into an unhealthy obsession.

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