Empathy and people-pleasing can both result in compassionate acts.
But knowing the difference between them can protect your mental health.
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Thats not inherently bad or negative, either; compassion is part of being a good human.
But sometimes its hard to parse whether youre acting out of empathy or more so the desire to placate.
It allows us to feel what others are feeling or to really understand what theyre thinking, she says.
clinical psychologist, life fulfillment expert, and author ofDate Smart,Joy From Fear, andAging Joyfully
By contrast, people-pleasing is a behavior.
It typically happens in response to an internal fear of being criticized or rejected by the other person.
But the main difference between the two springs from the initial motivation.
With empathy, the connection to others generally feelsgood.
Empaths and empathetic people thrive on this connectionwhich is satisfying and fulfilling.
Do your acts of compassion leave you satisfied, or are you looking for a tit-for-tat dose of validation?
But, at the same time, go easy on yourself.
Wanting to be helpful and make others feel good still isnt a fundamentallybadthing, says Dr. Henriksen of people-pleasing.
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