Yes, but there’s a catch.

Here, experts explain what it’s important to share in common and what doesn’t actually matter.

Experts in This Article

Lisa Elson is a matchmaker with Three Day Rule.

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Why didnt opposite attraction have a magnetic pull in that case?

People often blur these lines, Elson says, adding that a lack of shared relationshipneedsarepotential deal-breakers.

In contrast,wants, Elson and Wright say, are more of a bonus.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

Lisa Elson is a matchmaker with Three Day Rule.

If youre looking for a long-term partner, whats crucial is that your needs overlap.

Having different interests supports autonomy, Wright says.

Become aware of your own needs, find out your partners needs, and learn to talk about that.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

Then, decide if changes can be made.

I like musical theater, for example.

you might appreciate what someone else is interested in without being interested in that specific thing yourself.

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So, do opposites attract and can this attraction lead to long-term relationship success?

If your mate happens to have the same exact books on their nightstand as you do, cool.

And if they share your mutual big-picture goals?

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

Lisa Elson is a matchmaker with Three Day Rule.

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Courtesy Berkley Publishing