‘Ghostlighting’ Is When Someone Ghosts You, Then Gaslights You About It—Here’s How and Why It Happens

What is ghostlighting?

In some cases, a ghostlighter wont even acknowledge that they ceased contact at all.

Cue: What do you mean I ghosted you?

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Instead, they resort to acting like everything should be just fine upon their return.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

chair of communication studies and associate professor atWidener University

After hitting a dead end, they might pop back in to see ifyourestill around.

Over time, this creates a harmful dynamic of emotional manipulation on the part of the ghostlighter.

Remember: The key component of true gaslighting is the aim to causeconfusionabout the events happening in your life.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

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Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

chair of communication studies and associate professor atWidener University

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Courtesy Berkley Publishing