The platinum rule is treating others the way they want to be treated.

Learn what happened when I followed that instead of the golden rule.

Based on this understanding, it dawned on me that this thought should also govern my human relationships.

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Each person deserves to be treated howtheywant.

But it often falls short because folks tend to take it at face value.

And that doesnt always work, says Dr. Alessandra.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

Los Angeles-based licensed marriage and family therapist

People may have shied away because theyre clear on what their expectations and boundaries are, says Zambrano-Morrison.

He likes to communicate frequently, because thats how he knows thatImokay and that our relationship is, too.

And Im happy to oblige.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

I ask how they like to communicate as well as how they conceptualize respect and friendship.

With the help of the platinum rule, I feel that my interpersonal relationships have certainly improved in quality.

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Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

Los Angeles-based licensed marriage and family therapist

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Courtesy Berkley Publishing