Its no longer a calm, cool debate about differing opinions, orbantering and bickeringwith your significant other.
No, you two are going at it with an aggressive, toxic free-for-all.
Luckily, theres a few soft methods on how to stop a fight before it becomes irreparable.
If theres a competitive undercurrent to your argument, its usually not for the right reasons.
When people are fighting they are in their fight or flight response and no one is thinking clearly.
The first option is to be really authentic about the situation and divorce yourself from the conversation.
Chicago-based psychotherapist
you’re free to do that with a simple statement like, This isnt going anyplace good.
Can we take a break and finish this when were calm?
If authenticity isnt going to happen, just end it and get some space, says Dr. Daramus.
Tell them you have an appointment or need to finish something for work.
Find any way to stop things from rolling downhill any further.
While arguing, pour a cup of coffee for yourself and one to them, too, Dr. Daramus.
Help them with a task to make it mix tough messages with nonverbal supportive ones.
Stay physically relaxed and open, neither aggressive or submissive.
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