“Toxic forgiveness” is forgiving someone before you’ve come to terms with their actions.
Here’s why it’s problematic, and how to avoid it.
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But thats only if you forgive and really mean it.
That process is the antithesis offorgetting.
In fact, the act of forgiving has been shown toreduce stressandboost mental healthin the forgiver.
Chicago-based psychotherapist
If youre accepting an apology without having taken this step, youre not setting yourself up to move forward.
Instead, youre just pushing the reality of the hurt out of your mind, says Schmitt.
By the time that point arrives, it might not always be clear where the anger is coming from.
It typically comes out sideways in the form of passive-aggressive digs, she adds.
This might show up in the form of self-talk that invalidates your own feelings.
That starts with practicing some genuine self-care, according to Dr. Daramus.
Sometimes, deep wounds from childhood can be triggered by the behaviors of partners later in life.
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Chicago-based psychotherapist
