Many of ustake relationship breaksinstead of owning up to the fact that we want to break up.
This is all for good reason: Goodbyes are hard, full stop.
Why do we often give a shot to avoid endings or goodbyes?
We dont like endings in American culture.
The United States is adeath-denyingsociety.
We fight illness, rather than accept it.
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Because negative emotions are often judged as bad, we do everything we can to avoid them.
Why would I want to go toward something that feels bad?
many of my clients ask me.
The truth is thatfeelingthese emotions is the thing that allows us to movethroughthem.
When we dull negative emotions, we also inhibit our experience of positive emotions.
But really, were typically not so conflicted as we are scared.
These strategies might provide immediate protection, but they do not allow you to live freely in yourself long-term.
Ritualize endings
Many times, endings are rushed.
Ask yourself: What is it like to give up someone that used to be important to me?
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What does it feel like to leap into the unknown?
What do I want to honor, if anything, about the past we shared?
Are there any photos I want to have printed?
Journal entries I want to re-read?
6,2, (2014).
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